5 things Sri Lanka need to try before the World Cup for a change in fortune- The Mahinda Rajapaksha way!

The selectors of Sri Lanka cricket have pulled out all the stops to field a fighting XI for the upcoming world cup down under. The mission-impossible has seen 5 different openers, several lower order sloggers and a plethora of middle order batsmen with no avail.

With everything despairing them, here are certain leaves that can be taken off the former president’s book of winning elections.

#1 Get Sumanadasa Abeygunawardena to predict a Sri Lankan world cup victory

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Mahinda Rajapaksa cleverly exploited Sri Lankans’ innate weakness in trusting everything that falls out of an astrologer’s mouth in his election campaign, by making an eminent astrologer predict a victory for the blue army.

Even though, it yielded no benefits, Sri Lanka should try the same ploy, since we have run out of time to go back and rectify selection absurdities, as the last resort.

Who knows? Sumanadasa might be able to middle the ball this time!

#2 Display banners about the 1996 WC triumph in vantage points of Sri Lanka

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War victory, that happened 6 years ago was thrusted forward as a case for Mahinda’s re-election hoping it can help the former president win. The same thing must be promulgated to try to see if that helps. This might sound stupid, but with people who still believe Rajapakshaism should perpetuate on war victory alone living in the island, this might not be so outlandish.

#3 Claim that LTTE is funding and helping the oppositions

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In order to put the general Sri Lankan public in great apprehension, MR used the scheme of malignantly claiming that the LTTE is funding and endorsing Mythiri’s campaigns. Sri Lanka cricket should also try the same by apprising publicly that LTTE is behind the umpiring errors that go against the island nation. We can also argue that LTTE is funding Williamson’s and McCullum’s brilliance in form secretly, and see whether the anti-terrorist laws and counter-terrorist organisations come to our rescue.

#4 Make use of Vajra

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Vajra was the weapon Mahinda placed his immense trust on during the election. With nothing going our way, perhaps we need to send Angelo Mathews in to toss with a vajra in his hand.

CAUTION: Mythiripala Sirisena, too, reportedly carried a vajra to his campaigns. So we need to make sure, no one else gets a hand to another vajra. Maybe we could patent it.

#5 Get ISIS to coup the World Cup stadiums at the 11th hour

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If everything else fails, just like what MR did during his final hours, we can use the funds in Nishantha Ranatunga’s Swiss bank account to bankroll ISIS to coup the stadiums and to implement terrorist law to usurp the coveted ICC trophy.

Yes, sounds stupid right? But lemme tell you, it is not as stupid as playing Jeevan Mendis or Dimuth Karunaratne in the playing XI ;).