Cricket

35 things that only cricket fans can relate to

If you are brought up watching cricket, there are certain things in life only you can relate to. The ones who don’t follow the sport or have no idea about it have definitely missed experiencing these following things:

  1. You have created your own virtual cricket field, fielders and a bowler and shadow slogged him over cow corner for a six, even during a tumultuous family gathering as the onlookers threw a puzzled look at you.
  2. While others sing and dance in the shower, you make it a fantastic occasion to scour your shadow batting skills.
  3. You have a tendency to look at anything that is slender and long as a bat. While others use the umbrella as a cover for rain, you always have other ways of using it.
  4. You have an innate predisposition to toss anything that is roughly spherical in shape and the action is always involuntary and compulsive.
  5. You have fantasized zillion times like hitting a last ball six or six sixes in an over to win an incredible match for your team.
  6. You have been deeply engrossed in thinking about what your team’s tactics and strategies should be for an upcoming game that your friends actually thought that you were in love.
  7. You have spent hours on end discussing about a cricket match with your friends and felt like expert analysts dissecting a game to every bit and piece.
  8. You have attempted to create an egalitarian society by discussing about cricket with almost everyone without discrimination, right from your office colleague to the tuk tuk driver in the stand close by.
  9. You have an unprecedented, inexplicable respect for the girls in your clique who have an impeccable and sane knowledge about cricket.
  10. You have had those nervous ordeals as you counted each and every nanosecond for the favorite TV series of the ladies at home to end so that you can finally watch cricket on TV without any interference.
  11. You have mastered the art of stealthily sneaking your mobile phone out to check out the score during lectures.
  12. Your biological clock somehow expertly adapts to different time zones. Whether it is waking up at 3 in the morning to watch a match being played in New Zealand or staying awake all night to follow a game in the West Indies, you have absolutely no problem.
  13. You wake up motivated and inspired when your favorite team has a match on that particular day.
  14. You have wondered what’s more with your life and felt as if a part of you have died when your favorite team’s tour comes to an end.
  15. You find walking along a lonely street difficult without yielding to your natural compulsion of emulating a fast bowler’s run up and bowling action.
  16. You have at least once in your life woken up everyone in the house shouting “yes” during a crunch situation when staying awake to watch a night game.
  17. You have successfully predicted an occurrence in the cricket field and had your chin up feeling like Nostradamus.
  18. In gully cricket you have attempted to emulate the bowling action of your favorite bowler and ended up hurling full tosses towards fine leg and third man.
  19. You have always thought that you could teach cricket to people from non-cricketing countries and considered it could be a great service that could save mankind.
  20. You at times even struggle to remember your own birthday but can precisely remember the date on which your team won the world cup. (Take no offence South African, New Zealand and Bangladeshi fans)
  21. There were times when you were lost thinking about cricket in exam halls and when you came back to your senses 15 minutes had already passed.
  22. You try to relate everything in life to cricket. And you have your own list of personalized cricket proverbs, like “Don’t think you can hit a six off the first ball”.
  23. You assign yourself irrelevant targets and thought achieving it would help your team win the following match. For instance, trying to hit a target with a small object at least once in three attempts.
  24. You have rushed to the playground on Sundays to conquer the pitch before your rival teams manage to do so, and felt like Neil Armstrong who has just become the first man to set his foot in the moon.
  25. You think planting the stumps in the pitch is a way of marking your territory and deterring any possible intruders.
  26. You wished that you could actually study cricket to get a degree. You think you are capable of becoming a doctorate in cricket.
  27. During those habitual arguments on cricket among your clique you have come with precise statistic s(with decimal points) and felt like Albert Einstein.
  28. You have silently smirked when a cricket noob tried to sound like somebody who has been following the game since time immemorial. For instance, when someone says “this batsman is useless. Need to kick him out”, just when he has scored two back to back centuries.
  29. You tried to be an expert analyst by doing an appraisal on the techniques and gameplay of the kids who play cricket in your street.
  30. You have fallen asleep while watching a dreary test match and have woken up suddenly hearing a raucous appeal.
  31. Whatever your favorite color may be, whatever your favorite brand may be, your team’s jersey is your favorite t-shirt.
  32. You have a mawkish emotional attachment towards match tickets and find throwing them away a difficulty.
  33. You have fantasized a different script for a match that your team could have won but lost.
  34. You think a utopia should have your favorite team playing cricket every day.
  35. Your friends have threatened to unfriend you in Facebook for posting excessive cricket content.

Theviyanthan Krishnamohan

Tech geek, cricket fan, failing 'writer', attempted coder, and politically incorrect.

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